Demi-Homemade

SPECIAL HORMEL CHILI FRITO PIE!!1

If you exist, you probably remember that frito pie is delicious. Left to my own devices, I might eat frito pie every day! However, sometimes it is tricky to figure out how to incorporate enough frito pie into one’s diet, because frito pie uses chili as a base and as we all know, chili can take as much as half an hour to make! Don’t get me wrong, I make great chili from scratch, for instance if we have “company” coming over, and I have enough bourbon and country music to get me through that thirty minute cooking ordeal. But the rest of the time I just want a frito pie that takes under 10 minutes. The solution, unsurprisingly, is to get canned chili and make it more special! Then you will be able to enjoy delicious frito pie even as a quick lunch or snack.

^^ everything you need to make delicious frito pie!

INGREDIENTS:

- 1 can Hormel Chili (get “with beans,” ya doofus)

- like half a yellow onion (get the cheap kind in the mesh bag, keep em in yr fridge so they last longer and they don’t make you cry! then they keep for weeks)

- some frozen corn

- some shredded cheese (if you keep it in your freezer, it never goes bad!)

- some chili spices: paprika, cayenne, cumin, chili powder, red pepper flakes, onion powder, salt, etc

- hot sauce (i used frank’s red hot, but tabasco might have been better idk)

- pack of fritos! I got mine for 2 for 1 dollar! i was going to make TWO frito pies this week but i got excited and ate the other pack of fritos first.

INSTRUCTIONS:

- Dice up the onion and sautee it for a couple minutes in the bottom of your pot. Don’t put it in a separate pan, that would be a stupid waste of dirty dishes!

- When that is done, get that hormel chili and dump it in the pot. Add a moderate amount of paprika, cumin, and chili powder, and a little bit of cayenne, onion powder, red pepper flakes, and hot sauce. Hormel chili doesn’t taste like all that much on it’s own so you should not hesitate to make it pretty spicy. 

- Toss a handful of frozen corn into the mix, this helps maximize the specialness.

- let the whole thing cook for like five minutes.

- Put your fritos on a plate, bowl, or other food vessel, pour the chili over the fritos, sprinkle some cheese over the chili, and voila! you have a delicous frito pie! So easy and good!

^^DON’T BE JEALOUS OF MY FRITO PIE I JUST TOLD YOU HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN

QUICK TIP: SPECIAL DELICIOUS LEFTOVERS!

THIS IS FUCKING DELICIOUS I JUST MADE IT \m/

ingredients

- some tasty black eyed peas

- some tasty greens

- some sriracha sauce or mb some other hot sauce. i am out of tabasco.

- salt

directions:

1. get someone to come over and make you some tasty black eyed peas

2. get someone to come over and make you some tasty greens (i think these are kale and mustard greens?)

3. eat as much as you can then save the rest for leftovers!

4. get those leftovers, put them in a bowl and mix them all up together! microwave them! then add some hot sauce and put more salt on that stuff! i was going to use tabasco but i think sriracha turned out MORE DELICIOUS.

4b. so delish!

^^YUM

DON’T HAVE TIME TO MAKE A SPECIAL MEAL? TRY THIS

HOT MIX IS FUCKING DELICIOUS I CHALLENGE ANYONE TO FIND ME A MORE DELICIOUS MIX THAN HOT MIX

demi-homemade returns with: some special tea!!1

If you are like AJ, sometimes you’re feeling a little sluggish and want a caffeinated beverage in the afternoon, but you’re sick of the taste of coffee, having just drank a half gallon of it that morning. This is a time of day that I am open to the consumption of a beverage that I otherwise generally find obnoxious, namely, tea! Now, if you go to the store, you will find that there are lots of kinds of fancy tea you can buy, but those teas are dumb and expensive. If you are a regular D-M reader, you may be starting to figure out that the secret to delicious food is not buying hifalutin ingredients, it is mostly just having a well stocked spice cabinet. So if you want some tea in the afternoon, here is what you do.

1. get a big box of lipton tea. then you won’t immediately run out and have to go buy more.

2. while your kettle is on, add the following stuff to your mug:

- some honey

- some cayenne pepper

- some black pepper

- some cinnamon

- some milk (sometimes I buy soy milk cuz that stuff never goes bad, so you can use taht if you want)

- some turmeric (use a lot — this stuff is delicious!)

…then just dump in your tea bag and water and enjoy! Delish! If you make it for your girlfriend, she will think that you just bought some high end “chai” tea from your local food coop!

NB: one drawback of this beverage is that black tea does not have very much caffeine. If this is a problem for you, just take some vivarin with it! Problem solved.

Delicious tea is just a spice cabinet away! Disregard the vermouth and svedka in that pic tho, if you added those, you’d have a teatini.